Ok, so we're all emotional creatures, and it's ever the lot of software engineers of all sorts to treat people like logical machines rather than human beings, but ...

... when we gather together in meetings to make decisions which are, to a greater extent, not about individuals (at least not supposed to be about individuals) but rather about the wellfare of the organisation we are working for then these discussions should be driven by reason and logic.

To my mind the first sign that one of these meetings is straying into emotional territory is when I hear that word - "Rubbish!" (and I usually hear the exclamation mark as well ).

Although you might occasionally hear something said in a meeting which is actually acurately described by the word "rubbish", most of the time people's contributions have some merit, even if not wholly correct or relevant or whatever. The word "rubbish" is almost always used as a means to intimidate. Someone tries this, or similar emotive means, to chase away an argument which looks dangerously like it may be about to overturn theirs.

The means of attack, here, is intimidation and embarrassment. The former if the person doing this is your superior, the latter if they're your equal. Someone below you in the organisation might try either but it's a dangerous tactic if they do!

The person who resorts to these sort of means of attack is embarking on twottery - i.e. trying to work the people rather than address the problem. In a nice productive meeting we're all supposed to be on the same side striving for a common end. This Twot is using emotional attack because he has something to protect. It may be his reputation (he's staked it on his argument and now it may be about to be proved wrong). It may be his organisation (in a client / supplier meeting, he's figured out a way to swindle you and it's about to be exposed).

It isn't just inappropriate, it's a symptom of twottery in progress. Watch out - someone is playing games with you.

Richard

TWOTS: start next