Ok, you've finally managed to get rid of that Twot that's been wrecking your organisation (and, let's face it, they do - they don't just sit there doing nothing, they try very hard to show that they're not Twots by *doing* things (need I say more) ).

But you (a) want him to go quietly and (b) don't really want to advertise to the world that you've had a major league Twot in charge of some vital part of your organisation. So what do you do? You give him a nice reference!

And we can all guess what happens next.

And now you (another you) have recruited that Twot because, well, hand in hand with that nice reference he made all sorts of outrageous claims on his CV about how his previous organisation simply couldn't have managed without him, especially if it succeeded. Of course, it succeeded despite his efforts rather than because of them, or maybe it (or he) just got lucky (it's amazing how much luck plays a part in commercial success). If the organisation failed you can bet your bottom dollar that the Twot made a hasty exit before the blame could be placed on him. Either way you will struggle to find this out before you employ him.

So now you have got on your payroll an expensive Twot whose last employer is still celebrating having got rid of. If you agree that your people are your most valuable asset, try to stop this happening again by making sure your recruiting procedure is the most polished part of your organisation. For example:

1. Don't palm off recruitment to junior members of staff.
2. Look for ways of measuring ability in an objective manner.
3. Make sure your employees aren't rejecting recruits because the recruits are better at the job than they are.
4. Treat references with suspicion.

And if you are one of those unfortunate people who is about to recruit someone senior, and you have no one in your organisation who can tell you whether he knows what he's talking about or not, so that you are forced to rely entirely on his references and trust to luck (maybe if he associated himself with success last time, that success will magically transfer itself to your organisation this time), then I hope you receive some of that luck because you're going to need it. I dare say you will stick your Twot on a throne somewhere and give him lots of power and responsibility in the hope that by treating him like the hero you want he'll become the hero you need.

They very rarely do, but it's a nice fantasy - glug, glug, glug.

Richard

TWOTS: start previous next